Unicorn in the office
by Taihza
Summary: Crack fic really Naruto is seeing thing's at the most intimate times in the office. wait, is that a unicorn? Mada/Naru, Kiba/Sasuke.


Naruto moaned as the fingers inside him brushed against that _spot_. If it wasn't for how good his lover was making him feel he would have been embarrassed about this whole situation. It's not every day you're on your back on your lover's desk with fingers up your ass. A part of him was even more excited than normal, the possibility of getting caught was extremely high, thanks to the small windows on the side of his lover's door. A tiny whine left his mouth when his lover removed his fingers, hearing the tell-tell sound of his lover's fly being unzipped he lolled his head back. His eyes instantly searching the window by the door.

And that's when he saw it.

White snout, pink mane, glassy blue eyes.

Long golden horn.

It was staring right at him.

Letting out a manly shriek -nobody could convince him it was unmanly- He bolted straight up, his sweat dampened forehead colliding with his lover's chin.

A hiss left his and his lover's mouths, both rubbing the damaged areas.

"What the _fuck_ Naruto!"

Wide cerulean eyes locked with onyx, Naruto's lithe hands reached out and gripped his lover's suit jacket.

"Did you see it! It was right in the window! Oh my god this is a sign! This was a bad idea!" Naruto shouted, quickly he jumped off the desk and ran around the large office gathering his discarded suit, throwing it on piece by piece as he went.

"Have you lost your mind! Nothing is there." He heard his lover grit out.

Quickly he tugged his shoes on and stood staring at the man.

"yes, _it_ was!" Naruto cried, his hands tugging furiously at his short golden locks.

"Yes, _what_ was" the man replied incredulously.

Face stilled he looked at his lover, "A _Unicorn!_ " he answered honestly.

Naruto bit his lip as he stared at his lover, the silence after the statement was driving him mad.

"I have to go... I love you." Naruto whispered, hightailing it out of the office.

As soon as Unicorn passed his lover's lips his dick went soft in a heartbeat. A thousand thoughts entered his mind as he readjusted his zipper and sat down on his leather chair behind his desk.

Was his lover having a mental breakdown? Was he on drugs? Was he hallucinating?

Resisting the urge to slam his head down on his desk he sighed.

It was a long and hard process trying to convince his sexy blonde to engage in office sex. To think an imaginary unicorn head interrupted them had him scoffing.

Needless to say, Madara's day was not starting out good.

* * *

The second-time Naruto saw the Unicorn head it was a similar situation.

Naruto hands clutched Madara's Long silky raven locks, a moan slipping past his lips when the man sucked harshly on his jugular.

He knew Madara wanted to have office sex, But the _Breakroom_! It was hardly as concealed as the man's office was, not to mention Madara had left the door open revealing the empty desks in the background. Naruto silently thanked every higher power that it was break time and almost everyone in the office smoked.

"Nnn, Need you." Naruto moaned out at a particularly hard bite. Madara reattached his lips to the eager blonde, his tongue rubbing against the blonde's languidly while he got to the tedious task of lowering Naruto's pants. Naruto groaned as Madara stroked him. He was so fucking _hard_. Naruto pulled away from the kiss and went to sucking and biting gently on the man's smooth pale neck.

It must have been fate that he looked up.

Or a nightmare.

The unicorn was staring at him, neck down cut off from the desk it was hiding behind,

Glassy blue eyes stared into cerulean. Mocking him. Looking into his soul.

Gasping he pushed his lover away and pointed behind the man.

"It's there!" he shouted.

Gritting his teeth Madara turned and looked shaking his head when he saw nothing.

"I swear it was just there! That _fucking unicorn_ is following me!" Naruto shrieked.

"Baby there is-"

"No, don't say it. I know what I saw!" Naruto hissed, readjusting himself.

Madara turned and stared down at his small lover. "Is there a reason your making up a unicorn head to avoid sex?"

"I'm not avoiding sex Madara! It was there! Just there! Peeking up over that fucking desk like a goddamn leprechaun!"

It was the second time that day Madara's cock softened. Only this time it was from the word leprechaun.

"We will talk about this at home." He replied dryly as he swiftly made his exit from the breakroom leaving a paranoid blonde lover behind.

* * *

Naruto sighed, He didn't have an appetite today. He sat silently at the round table he and his coworkers had claimed for when they eat lunch.

"Say guys, have you all seen a unicorn head around here?" he blurted out.

"a unicorn? Have you lost it finally?" Gaara muttered.

"Yeah dobe, I don't think anyone here is a mythical beast." Sasuke added.

"do you need medicine?" Kiba asked.

"No guys I'm serious! It's here somewhere! Watching me!" he whispered out when he noticed the stares of other coworkers.

"He hallucinating." Gaara said.

"No, he is on drugs." Kiba replied, laughing when Sasuke nodded his head in agreement. Onyx eyes locked onto chocolate brown, sharing a knowing look Sasuke reached over and put his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Do you want me to call a doctor dobe?"

"I'm not fucking crazy! It was there! I don't want to hear about doctors! It's bad enough Madara thinks I'm making this up!" Naruto shouted.

Sasuke cocked an elegant black brow. "What were you doing with Madara dobe?" He inquired.

"Yeah!" Kiba urged.

"Yes, tell us Naruto." Gaara urged.

"Uh, well… I have to go." Flushing a shade that would rival any red Naruto got up and booked it. Leaving his three friends laughing.

* * *

He was starting to see it around the office more. When he went to the copy room, when he went to the bathroom it looked at him from above the stall. The bathroom of all places! He nearly pissed on the wall.

To make matters worse His raven-haired lover was avoiding him. Madara never avoided him when the blonde actively sought him out.

Towards the end of the day the blonde felt like he was slowly breaking down, after countless times spotting the head looking from behind a corner, or a desk, or through a window; He honestly felt crazy.

It was only when he went back to his desk that he broke down in tears.

For on his desk was a simple picture, of a unicorn head peeking out from behind another desk in the office. With scribbly writing on the bottom.

 _'_ _I'm watching you'_

* * *

Madara was having an awful day. After attempting to engage the blonde in sex _twice_ , and getting thwarted by a goddamn imaginary _unicorn_ twice; He seriously confused.

Naruto was acting weird, Madara didn't do weird.

So, every attempt the blonde man made to look for Madara found him avidly going the other direction.

Lest he hear of the _unicorn_ nonsense again.

He loved the blonde idiot that cam ricocheting into his life like a stray bullet, but goddamn, being shy was one thing.

Fucking unicorns?!

Most of the day he spent thinking of places he could take the blonde for help. It had to be drugs, only drugs would make his lover see a fucking unicorn. Luckily there were quite a few rehab centers in the city.

His thoughts had continued down rehab centers for the majority of the day right up until the blonde he thought to be on drugs came running into his office, tears rolling down his face as he went on about the fucking _Unicorn._

Only this time surprisingly he had proof.

Madara cocked his eyebrow at the picture the hysterical blonde shoved into his hands.

Ok so maybe he is not on drugs.

And yes, this was a unicorn mask.

Looking up from the picture he stared at his silent lover.

Now he had to deal with a blonde having a meltdown.

And he had to buy ramen. Lots of _ramen_.

* * *

If one was to ask Sasuke how his day had been, He would answer _eventful_.

He was a good worker, he loved working for his uncle. But he hated the blonde worked there too.

It was bad enough he had to deal with his dobe living in the Uchiha manor.

No matter what corner he tried to hide in Naruto and Madara were all over each other; It was only a matter of time before he knew Madara would try something at the office.

So, he had to come up with a plan.

It was fairly easy actually. A couple months ago, Kiba had gotten him a gag gift.

A unicorn mask.

It was a fucked-up gift to send someone who had openly admitted to being gay for the first time.

Not that Sasuke was in _denial_ \- He was just never ready to admit it.

It was the start of something new though, He had ended up dating Kiba under the radar, both still going strong. Kiba was equally as supportive with Sasuke's plan to make sure the blonde couldn't have sex at work.

See, Naruto had an unhealthy fear of anything in mask form.

So, Sasuke knew just what to do and bided his time until today.

The second he saw the dobe go into his uncle's office he knew I was time. So, he went to his office, pulled open the drawer, grabbed the Unicorn mask and went to work.

He didn't expect the mask to work so well. But after popping his unicorn head in the first two time's Madara engaged Naruto and after the conversation at lunch he knew the blonde was cracking.

He also knew another thing.

Madara didn't do weird behavior.

 _Success_

It was a great feeling, Madara avoided Naruto and Sasuke made a point to pop his head here and there.

Maybe the bathroom was a little over the top. It was funny though.

What really sealed the deal though was the picture.

He would have to thank Kiba for the chicken scratch.

No Uchiha wrote that bad.

Sighing he pulled the drawer to his desk open and stared down at the unicorn mask.

Yes. He would keep this.

-Fin-


End file.
